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Hey guys,
So for those of you who read my last entry, you could probably tell I was not in the best of moods. Life generally felt like it was kicking my behind left and right and everything just sucked. Thanks again to those who sent kind messages to me in response. Good to know that I do have friends that care out there.
I'm doing better today, mainly because all the things that seemed to be piling up on me over the last few weeks are finally starting to let up. We are currently in the middle of finals week here at NKU. I finished one final today and I have another on Thursday. I got lucky this time around with only having two actual finals instead of four. One of my classes isn't having a final at all, while the other is having a final project, instead of a test. I have to go to that this afternoon. Then all I have left to do this week is finish Christmas shopping, and I will have nothing left to face but surgery on Monday.
Speaking of surgery, I had to go for pre-surgery "tests" yesterday. Honestly, I thought it was going to be a lot more extensive then it actually was. When I made the appointment, they started asking me all these questions about Chest X-rays, EKG's and other medical tests that I have never had before in my life. Based on that, I thought I was going in for all these tests, which I was OK with. I mean, if it has to be done, then it has to be done. Instead, all they did was take my temperature, my blood pressure, and make me watch a video on anesthesia. Seriously, most of that stuff could have been done via letter or e-mail or something. At least I have it out of the way now, so I am all ready to go next Monday morning.
I have to give my boss at work credit. He is actually genuinely concerned about my health. (If he's not, then he is doing a damn good job of making me think he is. ) He made a point of telling me Sunday before he left that he wants me to call him as soon as I feel up to it, so that he knows I am OK. He's also been really great about giving me time off to go to the doctor when I need it and just has generally been fantastic overall. Situations like this make you really see people in a new light.
Speaking of seeing people in a new light, let me talk about "The friend" for a minute. Yeah, there still has not been any word from him, in regards to the surgery or anything else. Honestly, a part of me is glad about that because when he does decide to talk to me again (Yes, I still believe that, at some point, he will speak to me again.), I want it to be because he is ready to talk, not because he feels that he "has" to.
And then there is a part of me that wishes he would talk to me, because he was someone that I confided everything to, and I miss that terribly. Although he probably doesn't think so right now, I trusted him unconditionally. I felt like I could tell him anything and everything, and I think that, having a friendship with someone like that is rare this day and age. He has been in my thoughts a lot as of late, especially since finding out that I needed surgery. On one hand, I don't want to put any pressure on him, because I really want things to work out with us, but at the same time, I keep fighting this urge to do everything I can to fix it. All I know is that, lately it has become more and more apparent just how much this friendship meant and I want it back, but I'm also afraid of screwing things up more. Maybe it would just be helpful to know that he still cares, I don't know. I'm just finding it hard to accept the possibility that maybe there is no fixing this, mostly because I believe so strongly that this CAN be fixed. Am I crazy? Should I just let this go?
On another completely random note, I am listening to the song "I Have the Power" on Youtube right now. I was a huge fan of He-Man/She-Ra back in the day and I had forgotten just how dang catchy this song is. Filmation even released a music video for this song, which was really rare for animation back in this time period. It's just so catchy and uplifting. (The video is a bit strange, but the song is just awesome.)
OK, off to lab now. Will check in later.
So for those of you who read my last entry, you could probably tell I was not in the best of moods. Life generally felt like it was kicking my behind left and right and everything just sucked. Thanks again to those who sent kind messages to me in response. Good to know that I do have friends that care out there.
I'm doing better today, mainly because all the things that seemed to be piling up on me over the last few weeks are finally starting to let up. We are currently in the middle of finals week here at NKU. I finished one final today and I have another on Thursday. I got lucky this time around with only having two actual finals instead of four. One of my classes isn't having a final at all, while the other is having a final project, instead of a test. I have to go to that this afternoon. Then all I have left to do this week is finish Christmas shopping, and I will have nothing left to face but surgery on Monday.
Speaking of surgery, I had to go for pre-surgery "tests" yesterday. Honestly, I thought it was going to be a lot more extensive then it actually was. When I made the appointment, they started asking me all these questions about Chest X-rays, EKG's and other medical tests that I have never had before in my life. Based on that, I thought I was going in for all these tests, which I was OK with. I mean, if it has to be done, then it has to be done. Instead, all they did was take my temperature, my blood pressure, and make me watch a video on anesthesia. Seriously, most of that stuff could have been done via letter or e-mail or something. At least I have it out of the way now, so I am all ready to go next Monday morning.
I have to give my boss at work credit. He is actually genuinely concerned about my health. (If he's not, then he is doing a damn good job of making me think he is. ) He made a point of telling me Sunday before he left that he wants me to call him as soon as I feel up to it, so that he knows I am OK. He's also been really great about giving me time off to go to the doctor when I need it and just has generally been fantastic overall. Situations like this make you really see people in a new light.
Speaking of seeing people in a new light, let me talk about "The friend" for a minute. Yeah, there still has not been any word from him, in regards to the surgery or anything else. Honestly, a part of me is glad about that because when he does decide to talk to me again (Yes, I still believe that, at some point, he will speak to me again.), I want it to be because he is ready to talk, not because he feels that he "has" to.
And then there is a part of me that wishes he would talk to me, because he was someone that I confided everything to, and I miss that terribly. Although he probably doesn't think so right now, I trusted him unconditionally. I felt like I could tell him anything and everything, and I think that, having a friendship with someone like that is rare this day and age. He has been in my thoughts a lot as of late, especially since finding out that I needed surgery. On one hand, I don't want to put any pressure on him, because I really want things to work out with us, but at the same time, I keep fighting this urge to do everything I can to fix it. All I know is that, lately it has become more and more apparent just how much this friendship meant and I want it back, but I'm also afraid of screwing things up more. Maybe it would just be helpful to know that he still cares, I don't know. I'm just finding it hard to accept the possibility that maybe there is no fixing this, mostly because I believe so strongly that this CAN be fixed. Am I crazy? Should I just let this go?
On another completely random note, I am listening to the song "I Have the Power" on Youtube right now. I was a huge fan of He-Man/She-Ra back in the day and I had forgotten just how dang catchy this song is. Filmation even released a music video for this song, which was really rare for animation back in this time period. It's just so catchy and uplifting. (The video is a bit strange, but the song is just awesome.)
OK, off to lab now. Will check in later.