"It Gets Better" - lots of deep thoughts.

[orionpower2001]

So yesterday, I came across the "It Gets Better" movement. And it has given me so very much to think about and consider.

For those of you who did not know about this, the "It Gets Better" project was established by Dan Savage, an advice columist, in response to the staggering amount of gay teen suicides in recent months.  People like Tyler Clementi, a college student in New York, who threw himself off a bridge after an intimate encounter between himself and another man was made public online by his roommate. People like Billy Lucas, a 15 year old kid who hung himself because he was tormented for something he had NO CHOICE over.

My heart is literally breaking right now. So many kids are out there, right now, being made to feel inferior...worthless...abnormal. All because they are being themselves. And they are killing themselves because they see no other way out.  And the truly sick thing is that no one is willing to HELP THEM. In one of the cases I read about, a family went to school administration to try and stop the bullying and persecution that their son was experiencing. The response? "If he chooses to dress that way, walk that way, and act that way. Then he deserves what is coming to him."

Its one thing when hateful, closed minded biggots attack adults. But these are KIDS. KIDS!  And the people who are supposed to PROTECT them are LETTING THIS HAPPEN!!!!


I was one of those kids. I spent many years getting picked on. Being called names. Tormented on a regular basis all because I was perceived by my classmates to be gay. I didnt even know I was into guys back then. So I denied it. Even trying to act on the attractions I had to girls was not enough. I was looked upon as gay and that was it. I was stuck with that definition the entire time. Being the butt of jokes and the target of hate was a regular occurance in my life. At one point, it got worse. Very much worse. I was 16, working at a grocery store as a stock clerk, and one of the guys that I worked with shoved me against a shelf. Holding me there, he took a two liter bottle of pop and began pressing it into my butt, because he heard :"I liked it that way". Never once was I asked if I was gay/straight by this guy. The rumors were enough.

That night, I went home and I did consider killing myself.  I mean, how is a kid supposed to keep going when he is afraid of being physically attacked for something he has no control over. I didn't commit suicide, obviously, but  from that point, I pretty much shut down.  I was more concerned with keeping myself safe then whether I was popular socially, or any of that other crap that comes with high school.

The message the program delivers is correct. It does get better. After high school, I met some really awesome people online. People who I feel I can be close with, and who I am comfortable coming out to and people I feel comfortable sharing this story with. Hell, Im actually dating now.  Im dating a wonderful guy who makes me feel happier then I have in a very long time.

But even now, there is a part of me who is afraid to come out completely, because that fear that has been planted in my mind from way back then still exists. That same fear is still being planted in the heads of children today. People are allowing kids to grow up hating themselves. They are allowing kids to feel abnormal, inferior, and worthless and it has to stop.

If you have gotten this far, and know anyone who is in this situation, or if you just want to get the awareness out there, I strongly encourage you to check out the "It Gets Better" Project. Hundreds of people from around the world have posted videos to Youtube in response to this, to show the kids today that life does get better, that the hate does not last forever and that there are others out there who have been there and are there for them.

OK. Have to go to class. Getting off the PSA soapbox now....